kjoyce4It’s been quite the year. 2020 has given me some of the biggest challenges of my life, but for some reason, I can’t help but look back at the many successes I had this year.
It started out great, but of course hindsight is 2020. At the beginning of the year, I was feeling restless and stressed. Looking back at it, I remember the friends I got to work with every day, and the evenings spent at a restaurant or bar with friends.
I remember the beginning of quarantine, when we all thought things would go back to normal in a couple weeks. When I first started working from home a couple days a week, taking the extra time normally spent commuting or staying late at work to pick up my yoga practice again.
I remember the Friday nights I spent trying takeout from every restaurant on the Winooski Circle, and the evenings spent walking Chloe along the river.
I remember the frustration fo trying to find a new job during the pandemic and the excitement of finally getting an offer.
I remember the summer nights spent with family, sitting around the fire.
I remember all of the friends I talked to for the first time in years. The FaceTime calls with far away former roommates, and the socially distanced meals after months and years apart.
I remember the mountains. The Saturday I returned to one of my favorite peaks in New York, and the weekends spent exploring the White Mountains.
I remember my first solo road trip. The night I went camping in a tent for the first time alone, and the sunrise on Cadillac Mountain. Walking on the easternmost point in the U.S., and photographing the tallest mountain in the Northeast.
I remember the holiday spent with family. Without the stress of leaving for work the next morning. The weeks spent relaxing and reflecting on years of moving forward along a path I realized wasn’t mine.
Over the summer, I sat in the empty conference room of a news station. My temporary work space, turned permanent. I found an instagram post. A quote that said that your version of success doesn’t always stay the same, it changes and it may not look like the version of success society accepts.
I posted it to my story in the middle of the night, a week after I quit my job, and immediately got responses from friends and former coworkers. All of them positive. Most of them had no idea I was leaving my job.
If I’m being honest, I spent a lot of 2020 stressed and complaining to anyone who would listen. And thank you to every single person who listened. I know it’s been hard for all of us.
I never thought I would stop complaining, and there are still things that I’m stressed out about. But this year has taught me that life is messy and you don’t always know how to deal with it, so trust your gut and something will work out.
I’ve spent a lot of the past two months feeling guilty. Feeling like I’ve let down all of the mentors who helped me get the job I quit. Feeling bad for leaving a steady job when so many people can’t pay their rent or lost their jobs in the pandemic. It’s taken me a few weeks to come to terms with my decision and I don’t have any regrets.
I read somewhere that easy decisions lead to a hard life and hard decisions lead to an easy life, and I think I’m beginning to understand that. The obvious path forward isn’t always the one that you should choose.
I don’t think 2020 will go down as the best year of my life or even a good year in my life, but it will stand as one of the most challenging and one of the most rewarding. So far. And when I remember it, I will choose to remember how we all made the best out a truly unique year.
So here’s to 2021 and all of the adventures it may hold!
